NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU
Life comes in different phases and stages.
Growing up I was unable to process my emotions because we were taught by my father that crying and showing emotions was a sign of weakness so I learnt to suppress my emotions but this haunted my adulthood and all my friendships and relationships, I walked around everyday with tremendous amount of pain and didn’t have anyone to talk to. Because of the inability to say how I felt ,I gave people more chance than they deserved and also let them walk all over me.
Then I moved to that phase where I was so self conscious, and struggled with self esteem issues, As a teenager I had two friends and zero social life, I took everything personal ,I felt every horrible thing in the world was happening to me and I anticipated pain, Its unfortunate but true and sometimes life can get us to that point but then I went through that healing phase and experienced great amount of growth and spirituality. This was when I began to see the world from a new point of view, from the eyes of others. I learned to put myself in the shoes of others.
We have all been through it, and just because we sometimes feel like we have seen it all or being through so much does not diminish other people’s pain. I’ve heard people say “You haven’t seen nothing yet, Wait until I tell you what happened to me….” other times it goes “That’s nothing, have you ever…”. There is no saying the amount of pain we are capable of surviving. Some of us have over time built emotional resilience , Some of us are only just beginning to do so and some of us don’t have access to people or resources that can help us even begin.
We have become so selfish that we constantly make everything about us. We have turned deaf ears to the pain of others, become so insensitive we can’t even tell when we are crossing the line. Having survived physical, emotional and sexual abuse, I got to that point in my life where my emotions where turned off and I found myself not having any sympathy or empathy, it took tremendous healing to find myself feeling again.
No one is born cruel or without empathy, Sometimes people unintentionally hurt us, The body, mind and heart keeps scores and this can sometimes affect our reactivity to life and people. Life shape us into who we become and how we impact the lives of everyone around us positively or negatively.
That person who rejected you, shamed you, and caused you harm in one form or another have also been through their own share of pain and hurt. Please give them a break and have some compassion towards them(I know its the last thing you would want to hear). If they could give you a chance to see through them and see the demons they have had to face ,You will see that something broke them and they are just on a phase in their own journey just like we all have been. We all have a shared humanity filled with joy and pain and if we can look at each other from this lens, we would live in greater harmony with each other.
There is no saying the benefit of healing and processing our emotions, I can say I am now a much more happier person. I have dropped the illusion of control and how I wish life should be and most importantly I have learnt that not everything is about me.
