DAYS I ALMOST STARVED TO DEATH
Try being broke in Africa and you will understand the real definition of hopeless and helpless. Waking up and having no money to afford a meal or wondering if your neighbor will swing by with a bowl of fruit or a plate of food.
When I was in high school, I walked 15 miles back home from school with sore feet, knowing I would do the same the next day. Days in college I would have a weekly budget that only allowed one meal per day and also had a specific time of the day I would eat so as to remain fuller until the same time the next day and that time was 6pm everyday. Having that tiny hope in the pit of your belly that somehow miracles of some sort will happen when you search the pockets of your pants or dresses and find some change you totally forgot.
I remember it like it was just yesterday. Talking about it with my sisters the other day brought tears to my eyes, it was something we experienced together and recognizing how far we have all come is something totally unbelievable, sometimes all you have to do is hold on a little longer to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and a little longer could be as little as tomorrow but also as long as 10 years .
I had two younger siblings living with me at that time, and I not only was worriying about myself but also about them. I remember one day I looked in the mirror and was terrified because my collar bones glared back at me. I could see my bone structures in the same way you would look at the human skeletal frame and somehow I kept telling myself that my story would not end like that, there was more to this life than that, there had to be. It makes me wonder about the pain and hardship people I see every day had to endure to get to where they are now. My past has made me understand what real compassion is and also recognizes the shared humanity in all of us.
I remember days I soaked my pillow wet at night with tears just wondering if I would make it into the next day. Knowing at the back of my mind I had no one to rely on, no one coming to rescue me. Like my mother would always put it “ Manna does not fall from heaven anymore like in the days of Moses in the Bible, You’ve got to work hard for what you want out of this life” .
I shiver in pain sometimes just remembering those days, I had no idea what my future looked like, but I never stopped dreaming of the day where all that pain would make sense .I dreamt of public speaking that inspired people, I dreamt of becoming a writer , I dreamt of having my own business ,I dreamt of living in a country that provided me with the resources I needed to harness all the burning desires and visions inside of me.
Before the age of 13, I went from having everything I wanted to having nothing at all because my parent lost their business and ran into debts of millions of dollars. It was a tough adjustment. Suddenly, we relied on family friends or pastors to save us from starving to death. My mother would starve everyday to make sure we were fed first. Seeing her suffer like that broke my heart and spirit and made me lose my own appetite. I remember one day we woke up with no food in the house, with no hope of feeding that entire week, and my pastor sent someone to bring us some money and grocery. I will never forget how the face of everyone in my household suddenly lit up and confirmed that somehow miracles do exist. Mrs. Margaret Meka, I will never forget how many times she showed up for my family in the same way. She was our angel on earth. We also had days when no one showed up at all, and all we had to do was stay hungry and hope.
I come from a developing country where the government could careless about helping the malnourished people in the society, Where if you don’t have a job or have a family member who looks out for you then that equates to a death sentence. You could graduate with all the degrees you want, but it’s tough to get a job. You can’t go to elementary, high school or college without having cash at hand to pay tuition and there are no access to any form of student loan so a lot of people would rather not bother getting an education and who is to blame them, I majored in Environmental Engineering in college, I cannot begin to describe everything I had to go through to actually graduate because saying it was hell would be an understatement, Professors who would fail you because you simply didn’t have the money to pay to get a “C” . Other professors who would rather sexually harass you than take your money. And who are you going to tell? The same person you are going to file a claim with is either friends with these professors or doing the same exact thing. After spending five years in college ,I spent another two depressing years searching for jobs until I landed a travel agent job that paid an equivalent of $35/month at that time( 2014), fast forward to 2016 I moved to another travel consulting firm that paid $300/month, stayed with the company for another two years and by the time I was relocating to the united states I was already making $500/month (Early 2018) and this was considered a dream job for more than half of the country.
Have I accomplished all my dreams ? Not yet ! but I'm on the verge of doing so. Those days of starvation are gone, I have started my own business, I am currently living in the United States of America, I just started writing on Medium and my life is unfolding before my eyes like a miracle. And this was not by chance or luck. This is by dedication ,hard work and showing up every time I am called upon to be more.
This article is for every child out there who is going through the rough phase of life, That phase of hopelessness and helplessness, That child who has experienced or is experiencing starvation at the moment. As you continue to strive to survive, my hope for you is that you never stop dreaming, that you cultivate that desire to want more, to become more , to relentlessly put one foot in front of the other , to recognize when you are called upon to be more and then mother nature will show up to play her part. Never give up!!! The universe is listening and witnessing every dream and visions you uphold in your heart, and somehow, when the time is right, it will all come together and make sense.
Godspeed!!!
